Friday, 30 April 2010


I have now migrated over to:


Friday, 23 April 2010

Wish sounds so much nicer than WANT...

There is so much in my lady spank-bank right now. So many pretty things that I am dying to be able to afford but just cannot at the moment. Instead, I'll consolidate some images into one blog post as a reminder of the things I currently NEED. (Ok, want... but shh.)

MAC Studio Fix Fluid Foundation
This stuff is worth 1000x its weight in gold. Easily the best face-based make-up product I've used. It glides over my combination skin and evens out my patchy-toned nose and cheeks. God I miss being able to afford this stuff...

Care Bear Hoodie
It says "Today is my Grumpy day". What more does a child of the 80s want in a retro hoodie?!

MacBook Pro
Humina, humina, humina.... why can't I afford one of these? They're just the ultimate in laptops for a media enthusiast. To boot, it's sexier than Penelope Cruz in stockings.

Irregular Choice boots
I am 99% certain that my life will not be as satisfying and fulfilling as it can be until I own these boots. Yes, it's shallow and needlessly girly (for me, anyway) but LOOK AT THEM.

Red Latex Gown by House of Harlot
Fap fap fap fap fap fap.... I don't think this needs any more than that as a description. Feels like a lifetime since I last went to a fetish club, but if I had the money I would purely justify this on its sex appeal. That and it is photoshoot-friendly.

I've just realised I could go on for several hours, which I don't know is a good thing. Maybe I have healthy ambition, or a strange delusion... I don't know. Either way, if Santa feels like dropping all of the above down the chimney later this year, would be tremendously grateful ;-)

Thursday, 15 April 2010

Avatar: Didn't leave me feeling blue

Last month, I finally got around to seeing Avatar, which has been pegged as a benchmark film by many, and an apparent "must-see" for any film enthusiast. As a co-owner of a rather obese DVD collection, I felt it necessary that I should cast judgement on it.

Now let me first say that I didn't see it in 3D, so perhaps I cannot comment fully on the quality of the visual effects. But even on a fairly low-budget high-res screen it looked pretty damned good. Vibrant, detailed, and just as awe-inspiring as I'd heard.

Now, with regards to the story. This is an area that seems to have been subject to heavy criticism for the similarities to other films or classic tales, such as Dances with Wolves, or even Pochahontas. (I should note that I haven't seen either of these films shamefully enough so I cannot personally comment on the story parallels. Avatar however, IS fairly contrived and tends to stretch the imagination by the first half hour alone. The first time the word "unobtainium" was uttered, both my partner and I scoffed, how ridiculous and unimaginative. We've since found out that this is an actual substance, so we were soon silenced.

As for the rest? Simply put, very simple. But that, for me, did not take away from the experience. Perhaps I would have thought differently had I seen the films that are meant to have already explored these themes on the same line of a story. But I haven't. Therefore I could just sit back and actually get swept up in what I think was just a an escapist fantasy story. No harm in that.

I am interested however, to see where film is going to go next. Avatar utilised 3D technology, animation, and so many other technical fireworks at their disposal I couldn't even think of them, let alone list or spell them. Just got me thinking how this can be built upon - CAN it be built upon? I'm starting to wonder if there is going to be a point when there is nothing else left to explore in this medium and we just end up being spoon-fed old films that have been reinvented on a big budget, techo-scale.

Can just see it now, Agent Higgins of the Linguo tribe takes a youngling Roughian orphan under his wing and teaches her the ways of his kind. My Fair Lady for future generations. A unique story that touches on issues that have never been....oh. Hang on..

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Structured anarchy?

So, the move out of London and into a new city has been completed. Metaphorically it was fairly painless, but physically I'm fairly sure that I am still toll-paying. To be expected really. Or is it? Christ knows. The NHS still aren't exactly falling over themselves to help me, despite several desperate pleas.

Predictable whinging aside, I'm re-evaluating what I should be using my blog for, in attempt to actually encourage myself to use it more rather than trying to sift through the myriad of random fuffle that sometimes pours out of my head.

So, what can be expected going forward? Pretty much the same to be honest. Just constant chastising of myself when I don't kick my own ass to write more:

- Reviews. Music, films, kitchenware, make-up, sex toys. Anything is possible under this category.

- Diary. My own personal ramblings and documentation of life. Some of these might end up public, but for the most part they'll be for my eyes only.

- Blog. This pretty much has to be an umbrella term for all debate or opinion-based prose. Makes it easier than picking out three thousand specific terms like debate, poll, rant, waffle, etc.

- Model/Art. As it says, really. If there actually is anyone reading my blog, they'll probably already know that I idly take part in various hobby-like activities.

No doubt I'll completely disregard most of these and wind up just spewing forth whatever I feel compelled to do so, but the general structure is there and even if anarchy does take hold at some point, isn't that the fun of these things?

Add me to your read list, drop me a line. I'd love to talk.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Proud to be different?

Here's a somewhat sensitive subject for people.

I'm an aspiring alternative model. And despite my love for all things fetish, latex, gore, horror, metal music, dark, gothic and the likes, I will never be accepted as a true member of the alt community.


Because I'm neither heavily inked or pierced. I have a few subtle piercings and a few tattoos that aren't immediately visible. This is instantly met with disdain by a lot of people, which is a terrible shame for several reasons.

The alternative community "pride" themselves on being more accepting than other social groups. The attitude of some people contradicts this. I've had more than one snide comment from people about my lack of sleeve/leg/full body tattoos.

Firstly, there is no way around it. Good tattoos by a reputable artist are expensive. VERY expensive. Artists whose work I admire usually start at around £80 per hour, and for large pieces you could be looking at 12 hours work for example. I don't have access to that kind of money, even if I was to save. It's a lot of money for someone like me that struggles to get by as it is.

Which leads me neatly onto work. Sure, I'll always be on the campaign bandwagon that is waving the flag to accept alternative types in the workplace. But to be honest, in 25 years of living, I've not seen much progress with regards to this in a lot of career paths. I'm not naive enough to expect this to do a massive u-turn anytime soon. As such, I can't help but be aware that if I don't make enough to survive by modelling, or when this chapter of my life is over I must get a day job. Unless I can wangle a lottery win this is inevitable. I'm a trained journalist, so the majority of jobs I go for will end up being office-based. While I'd love to walk in with a beautifully colourful and imagination inked body, chances are that my interviewers are going to judge early on. And while of course that's a shitty fact, it's a fact nonetheless. And I can't expect any different.

Likewise, with my hair colour. I love having tomato-red hair. It's bright, I feel sexy and it works very well in pictures. But I wouldn't kick up a fuss about going back to a natural shade if it meant getting a steady job with an income that means I can live comfortably.

I don't want to start yet another campaign bearing the slogan "Accept me! This is who I am!". But I would like to see elitism take a step down once in a while. Yes, I appreciate that the whole point of having heavily modded girls in commercial magazines is the point, that you don't see these girls in say, FHM. But why can't being alternative be about attitude and state of mind? In my natural form, I'm a 5'6 average-looking blonde. This doesn't mean that I don't listen to heavy metal. Nor does it mean I don't spend hours looking at pictures of amazing tattoos, wishing I had the money to get something more elaborate than I already have.

But isn't that part of the beauty of the contradiction here? If I could afford it, I'd reach a compromise. But for now, I shall continue to live as I choose.

Viva la individuality...

Tales from the City: Part Two

My Mother has always been into musicals. Mostly Andre Lloyd Webber's work, but not limited to his only. As such I grew up on this kinda thing (as well as my Dad's love for country and rock). Naturally, I fell in love with theatre and always felt a bit gutted that I never got the chance to go and see some of my favourite musicals. That is, until I moved to London and was in reach of London's world-renowned West End - Theatreland.

I know there's a "loser" stigma" that goes with a lot of musical-lovers but to be honest, I don't care, I'm going to share my experiences of those that stuck in my memory ;-)

Wicked - Victoria Apollo
Having been an avid Wizard of Oz fan as a child, I was naturally intrigued that there was going to be a musical based on the early lives of the two witches, Glinda the Good, and the wicked Witch of the West. Having not been a huge fan of the book by Gregory Maguire, I finally got to see the musical with an open mind - I am pleased to report that the musical is only VERY loosely based on the book. While maintaining its edginess, it also eliminates the whimsy that is an ongoing theme in the book.

Anyway, while the musical is enchanting, funny, touching and pure escapism it was the performance by Elphaba (the green witch) that led to a far more intoxicating love for the show. A one Miss Kerry Ellis (no longer performing as Elphaba sadly) is quite simply a tremendous performer, and her heart clearly leaps into every note she sings. I'll always remember the shows I saw her in very fondly. It's extraordinary when a performer captures an audience in this way.

The Phantom of the Opera - Her Majesty's Theatre
This was the big one for me. I first heard the original cast recording at a very young age, and was, like my mother, mesmerised. While I never really got into opera music (though later I would learn to love opera/metal) this musical-opera really did strike that balance. It's a beautiful story, really. I know, the lead is a borderline nutter with a penchant for casual violence and murder. But don't let that deter you.

While the first time I saw this musical will stay in my mind forever as a standalone memory, the second time was the one that seared through my body and pulled me into the music from start to finish. Partly, I think, because I had a much better view of the stage, partly because I was seeing it with my Mum - the originator of my love for the musical. But the performers had something that makes a show worth seeing. Chemistry. Ramin Karimloo as Phantom and Robyn North as Christine were perfect together. I mean perfect. When Christine faints into Phantom's arms towards the end of "Music of the Night" I actually almost gasped, right there, feeling every last tingle of Phantom's astonishment that the woman he loved was there, in his arms.

Still, there are some musicals that I haven't had the pleasure of seeing yet and would love to do so before I die:

Les Mis
My Fair Lady
Love Never Dies
Cats (highly unlikely, sadly)

Also recommended:
Blood Brothers, Avenue Q

Friday, 19 March 2010

Tales from the City: Part One

I don't remember when I first visited London.

I have patchy memories of various school or family trips, but none that really stand out as my "first" London experience. Again, a few odd visits as a teenager, nothing strikingly notable.

The first and lasting impression came with my selection of University. Although my campus lies on the outskirts of London/Middlesex in Harrow, at the time it still seemed very cityish to me. Especially the pace of things there. The attitude of people is what stuck with me though. I come from a very small village in North Essex. Very civilised, countryside corner of the county. My high school (while a horrid experience for me) had very little in the way of culture diversity, and anybody remotely different came up against a wall of hatred from most people.

But here? Different races, nationalities, genders, ages were going about their studies, laughing at units. I should mention that I've never been adverse to any culture groups of any nature, but up until that point I hadn't been exposed to anything like that, so I suppose I was quite naive.

I think that helped me choose that uni to be honest. The country lass in me wanted to learn the city way of life, and with most things that burn brightly, I was drawn to it. Eventually though, it burned my fingers and I'm ready to turn my back on the fire for the time being. Naturally, this leads me to reminisce some of my favourite memories from living/studying in the capital of England. I'll probably share these sporadically in the two weeks before we move to Peterborough.

Starting with a fairly recent(ish) memory. New Year's Eve 2008. Nothing out of the ordinary as far as being in London goes. But the company really was fantastic. Having been signed off work a few weeks previously, I was a bit of a black hole. But these guys brought me out of it to enjoy New Year's. My oldest friend and my boyfriend. There are so, SO many good nights to choose from with these guys, but this one stood out, because it epitomised what people will do for you when they care about you. :-)