Thursday, 27 August 2009

Teaching us to think dirty

Everybody's talking about.

Of COURSE everybody is talking about it, you can't turn a metaphorical corner without having it thrust under your nose. Sex, obviously. According to those in the know (magazines, apparently) everybody is doing it. Again, duh. It's enjoyable right? It's something everybody should indulge in.

Despite this free and open-minded society we live in, I can't help but feel a bit stifled. By one area in particular. Advisory articles. How to be sexy. How to feel sexy. How to make him think he feels sexy. How to tell the world you feel sexy when you don't feel sexy through the use of sexy body language. We appear to have crafted a world that is so fascinated by sexuality that there is the need to paint by numbers when it comes to exploration. This to me, seems insane. Whatever happened to just turning down the lights and having an evening with your lover, where you talk about things that get you going, thus leading to consensual, adult fun. Instead there is this need to enact "position of the week" which just seems a little contrived to me. Can just picture it..

"Ok, I'm ready... let's try that new thing"
"What, NOW?"
"Yes, now, I'm nearly finished"
"Oh... well... ok, your left leg needs to be that side.."
"Hang on."
"Sorry, hold on..."
"That's it, stop there"
"I can't hold that!"
"I think I sprained something.."

I'm probably being over dramatic of course, but perhaps I am just too deeply involved in living my life with fetish undertones. The power of suggestion, and experimentation. Which I am all for, remember.

I just resent being told by a Sexpert (that's a valid job title now, though lord knows what the BTEC certificate might say) that I should be doing things a certain way, or trying certain things to other people's specifications.

I just want to have sex for christ sake, not perform genital acrobatics.

With that in mind, I'd like to point anyone who may read this to my favourite publication for open-minded attitudes towards sex. Of course there is the odd "Sex by numbers" thing, but the forum is well worth checking out.

And remember to stay safe. If he takes down his pants and it's green, it's fair to say you don't want it inside you.

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